Do you only work with men? – NO. Some of my most successful and most enjoyable cases have been with women. Men’s Center New England is a passion of mine but not to the exclusion of the good women who may need my help and could benefit from my training, background and style of therapy. I do choose, as the father of a young girl, not to work with young women. Working with a child around the same age and gender as your own can present complications in the therapeutic relationship.
Why do you focus on men? The statistics - only about one-third of people in therapy in the U.S. are men. Only 60% of depressed men go for treatment, while more than 72% of women seek help. The suicide rate for men is four times higher than it is for women. Men make up over 75 percent of suicide victims in the United States, with one man killing himself every 20 minutes. Data from American Psychological Association shows that women make up 76 percent of new psychology doctorates, 74 percent of early career psychologists and 53 percent of the psychology work force. Men are clearly under-represented as both clients and therapists.
But more importantly, it’s personal - as a man who resisted treatment for my own issues with anxiety and panic attacks I want to de-stigmatize the process.
What is an LMFT? - Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. This DOES NOT mean I only work with families or couples who are married. It refers to a different kind of training and experience that looks at both your family of origin and family of creation to determine where the problems are coming from and how to solve them. Many who offer couples counseling and family therapy have little to no training or experience working with the complexities of the interpersonal dynamics of two or more people at the same time. I have done the additional course work, supervision and experience hours to practice this modality effectively. I am also a member of the board of directors of the New England Association for Family and Systemic Therapy (NEAFAST) and enjoy working with whole families and couples (in whichever form they take.)
Why don’t you take insurance? – The process of billing for insurance is complex and presents many issues, most important of which is that insurance does not cover typical individual experiences such and sadness, loss, anxiety and self-doubt, shame or blame. In any insurance reimbursed therapy, you are immediately given a mental health diagnosis in the first session. But not all experiences fit neatly into the boxes and list of symptoms described in the current Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (the DSM-5). In couples or family therapy only one part of the unit needs to be diagnosed which can actually make things worse, giving spouses, partners or other family members the ability to blame the person and their mental health rather than the relationship dynamics. Group therapy makes this process exponentially more complicated depending on the number of people in the group. I recognize not everyone can afford the luxury of avoiding being pathologized like this.
But why are you listed on my insurance's web site as taking my plan? - From September of 2019 through July of 2022 I was splitting time between my private practice and a group practice in Stow, MA. I was seeing insurance based clients through that group practice under their provider ID (called an NPI number). I no longer practice in person or virtually through that group. But my name may still appear on some insurance companies' roster of in-network providers.
Are you taking new patients? Do you have a waitlist? - Yes and no. My availability is limited. I do not keep a chronological waitlist. Openings in my schedule are unpredictable and some people may need night or weekend appointments due to work, childcare or other factors while some may need daytime openings. I try to respond to calls or e-mails as soon as possible and see if the client's needs match with my schedule availabilities and go from there rather than a "first-come, first served" approach.
Who are you to define what a man is? – I’m not and I don’t claim to be defining masculinity. All I know is that the definition is personal and changing in modern culture. The old ideas of John Wayne isolation and toughness, the man made of marble, no longer works. It’s hurting our families, our relationships, our children and - as evidenced the higher rate of male suicide and gun violence – our society. At the same time our culture may be swinging to the point of demonizing and pathologizing typical male traits, making men feel stigmatized for genetically and culturally influenced thoughts, behaviors, and attitudes. I don’t know what the definition of a man is. And maybe you don’t either. Come in and we’ll figure it out together and define what it means in YOUR life.